My Journey To Find Out If God Existed
Does God Exist or Just another Fairy Tale
What a question to ask? Unfortunately, it is a relevant question because no matter what you believe or do not believe, there is one fact that faces us all…..
DEATH, WE ALL HAVE A DATE WITH THAT PINE BOX. IT MIGHT BE SOONER THAN YOU THINK!
What Will You Do When You Die?
Some may ignore this question. Some might live life like it doesn’t really end, but that is not reality! You absolutely need to investigate the one area of your life that you will not escape.
When I was 12 years old, I became an atheist, hardcore alcoholic and druggy. I did not want anything to do with Jesus or any type of religion. That is until I ran out of options of getting sober. The only choice I had left according to my rehab counselor was …. to find God! I don’t like being forced into a decision, and I certainly did not like this option, but it was better than the alternative, drinking myself to death. Which, according to my counselor was not so far away. Nevertheless, through foolish living, I stayed in this condition for nearly another decade.
Then, finally, I woke up and I earnestly sought God through prayer. God answered me and on June 10, 1985, my questions came to an end when in a life crisis I called on the name of Jesus and He appeared to me in the physical realm. I found out that God really did exist. Not only do I believe in God, I KNOW JESUS PERSONALLY and we have now been walking together for 32 years, ever since that day that I cried out to Jesus.
So I want you to know from one former atheist that God really exists and Jesus is the Savior of the World. I hope you will begin your spiritual journey today and do not put off what is inevitable, – your own death, for today you are one step closer than you were yesterday.
Isn’t it time to start, let me help.
First, God cannot be proven! You say why? That is because God wants to be experienced and be met on a one on one personal level. He is a person and you are created in His image. So like any other person, He would personally like to meet you. God does not want to be the basis of some science project. God does not want you to try and prove whether or not He exists. If He wanted to prove Himself, He could and would just appear in the sky for all to see. He has chosen the more personal way of meeting you, one on one.
How Can I Meet God?
I can only tell you my own journey and be only what the Bible calls a witness – someone who can tell you what they saw and heard and experienced.
After leaving that counselor’s office, I was depressed but determined to never go back to my addiction. I also decided to keep my word and do whatever he told me to do, in order to achieve sobriety!
I was told every morning to get on my knees (this was for me only because of my ego and pride issues).
My prayers were; “God, IF YOU REALLY EXIST I need your help! I cannot stop drinking for any amount of time and I was told if I asked for your help, you would help me. So please, HELP ME! Please help me know if you are real or not?
My night time prayer was only this: THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER SOBER DAY!
At first, NOTHING! Then after a short while, some very strange “coincidences” started to happen. There were many times that I needed something that was really important and then out of the blue it was supplied.
In addition to material needs being supplied, I started receiving non-material answers to questions that were plaguing me. For example, I would have a question or problem with no answer or solution. Then someone would come up to me, start a “random” conversation and during the discussion would end up supplying an answer or provide a solution to my problem. This scenario happened more than once.
Each time this occurred I sort of “freaked out”. How was this happening I would ask myself? At this time I was not ready to admit that some higher power or a spiritual being was at work in my life.
So I put God to the test.
I would take these problems or questions to Him personally and tell Him to answer them if He was really listening. Every time, He would answer them like I said above or by speaking to me in my head. I then would try the solution and it would always work. One example; my car broke down in Pittsburgh and I hardly knew anyone since I was from another town in Pennsylvania. I called on God while on the highway and said If you are listening I need help because I have no money and no one to call (cell phones were not available yet!) As soon as that prayer went out, 5 minutes later a friend from the rehab pulled up behind me and as you might think, he was a mechanic!
June 10, 1985; 7 months into recovery and after I moved back home, I stayed with my sister who was also in recovery. We had a horrible disagreement and she asked me to leave. I ended up once again homeless. I tried to get a place to stay but with no money, a broken down car again, no one wanted to help me. I ended up back at a corner where I used to hang out and drink. (the picture above is the exact corner) No one was there. I sat there for hours and I prayed but it seemed to me God was not at home either! The self-pity and despair set in around twelve midnight.
Then this tempting voice came to me, and said, “Dennis why are you sitting on this corner alone? You know what to do! Go down to your corner bar which was only 3 blocks away and pick up a woman like you have done so many times before. You know you do not have to drink.” The battle began in my mind and soul not to go there and listen to this lie. I knew it was a lie because I had done this so many times before and ended up drunk and back in my addiction.
1:30 am; It was only a half hour to the bar was going to close and I was growing weaker and the temptation was more than I could bear. At this time in my recovery, the shaking and compulsion had not left yet. I still struggled with it every day since I stopped drinking.
I finally cried out to God; “If you really exist I cannot deal with this invisibility stuff anymore. If you do not come and help me, I am going to end up drinking and it will be the end of my life. Please come and relieve me of this temptation.”
In the Bible when Paul describes the time he went to heaven, he could not even tell if he left his body or if this was really happening to him….
This is the closest I can describe the feeling and what was happening to me. Jesus was in front of me, in me and encompassed my whole being. THIS POWERFUL AND WONDERFUL PRESENSES WAS SURROUNDING ME! The peace, joy, and rapture I was feeling were nothing I had ever felt in my life. Drugs or alcohol did not compare to what I was feeling in His presence. Then there was that voice, the voice was like His presence. It also encompassed me, I could hear Him audibly and also in me and through me. It was like every cell in my body was in tune with His voice. It was the most remarkable experience I ever had. I remember that all I could say was; “you really exist! You are really here! “Jesus said to me; ” I have always been with you nor will I ever leave you or forsake you.”
I am not sure how long He was with me, but He said many things to me. He then told me he had one more gift for me. He was going to remove the demons that held me in the alcohol and violent life I was living. I literally could feel them leaving my body and they have never been back in 32 years.
You could write this off as a flashback or hallucination I was having! I would likely agree with you if that was all or the only time it has happened. I will admit that that experience never happened again but His voice and His working in my life have never left. We have since worked together as what the scripture calls the church; The bride of Christ. He has been by my side and working with me the whole time.
Jesus was even with me this morning when I lost my keys. I flipped my bedroom and living area inside out. I looked everywhere. I was getting frustrated in losing my truck and house keys. When I sat down after looking everywhere and finally prayed about it. The words came; “seek first the Kingdom of God and everything will be added to you.” So, I sat down and did my morning prayers and had coffee with the Lord. Then His voice came to me and said, ” Sit here and I will have someone bring you your keys.” My mind wondered how are you going to bring my keys to me if I just sit here and not look for them? I went in the house and got my coffee and told my roommate I lost my keys and I looked everywhere. He said, “he did not see them either.” So I went outside and drank my coffee and after I finished my quiet time, Mark came around and said I found your keys, they were somehow put in my car. The Lord kept his word and had my keys brought to me after He said He would.
So in closing, I no longer just believe in God! I know God personally and I know without a doubt I am part of His family. So if you are wondering if God is real or not, I would love to prove him to you, but I cannot. You must go and seek Him on your own like I did and I promise you will find Him if you seek him like treasure. So go and have your own experience and let Him make Himself known to you. He will I promise!
Written by Dennis Stauffer Jr
Edited by Gary Green (Omega House)
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Dennis Stauffer (Founder/President and writer of DSI Ministries/Hands In Action)